“No one wanted to be friends with the fat girl” – Teen wins $50,000 essay contest on bullying
by Dr. Boyce Watkins
Cleveland high school student Gabrielle Jones refuses to be a victim. She has become a victor instead by writing an award winning essay on bullying and her experience in dealing with it. The empowered young superstar wrote the essay as part of the Maltz Museum “Stop the Hate” essay contest and she is $50,000 richer because of it.
Gabrielle’s win doesn’t come in cold, hard cash. Instead, she has received a scholarship from the organization.
“Growing up, I was always bigger than my peers,” Gabrielle stated to WKYC-TV. “I was friendless because no one wanted to hang out with the fat girl.”
Gabrielle then describes her experience being bullied by the other kids.
“During recess, the kids would ask me to be their horse and they would push me on the ground.”
Gabrielle went on to talk about the damning psychological impact of the abuse.
“Kids would throw candy wrappers and Debby Cakes on my seat and tell me to eat it. Every day I would come home and run to my room and cry my eyes out,” Gabrielle said.
After confronting her bullies head on, Gabrielle writes about how she rose above the bullies and became her own woman.
“I was not going to allow myself coming into an adult to be a victim of hatred and bullying,” she said.
Gabrielle went on to become the Student Council Vice President. She plans to go to law school one day and eventually become a judge.
Yesterday, I wrote about the bully training program called “Basketball Wives” and the role that we all play in teaching our children how to treat one another. While we might deem it relatively harmless for a 12-year old girl to see 35-year old baby’s mamas jumping over tables to beat each other down, the fact is that this leaves a very powerful impression on our young people. When we teach our kids to be the very worst of themselves, they end up behaving like the perpetrators who nearly ruined Gabrielle’s life.
Most kids aren’t as lucky as this young woman. Many of them suffer from depression, low self-esteem and even end up suicidal. There are few places lonelier than inside the mind of a middle school kid being treated horribly by his/her friends. The scars can last for a lifetime.
What’s worse is that many of the kids who bully others have not yet developed enough empathy to understand the impact of their actions. A woman explained to me how she sought out the girl she’d bullied in middle school and apologized because she had no idea how hurtful her actions were to the other person. If adults do not go out of their way to teach children how to care about one another, they may not figure it all out until it’s too late.
Gabrielle, I am oh so proud of you. I also encourage others who care about the Gabrielles of the world to identify them where they exist and help these young people work through their most difficult years. We must stand up to the madness right now.
Dr. Boyce Watkins is a Professor at Syracuse University and author of the forthcoming book, “The RAPP Sheet: Rising Above Psychological Poison.” To have Dr. Boyce commenttary delivered to your email, please click here.
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You go girl!!!! Keep your head to the sky and continue to achieve what you want in life.
Jacqueline
May 3, 2012 at 4:09 am
Amen Gabrielle…amen to you!
Mistaseph
May 3, 2012 at 3:39 pm
Wow what a truly amazing article! I remember being bullied in school too and Dr. Boyce you are so right, those kids need to learn at a young age that their actions can have a positive or negative affect on others.
God bless this young lady, I hope she prospers in life…I bet those losers wanna be her friends now!
leah
May 3, 2012 at 3:49 pm
Good for her ,what gets me about these kids and bullying is that how come teachers are,nt seeing any of this ?or are,nt the parents aware of these types of senarios involving their kids? Don’t they see or are,nt they aware of anything wrong regarding their kids? Parents should always have open dialogue when it comes to these types of situations.
marcus davis
May 3, 2012 at 3:59 pm
This is sad that bullying is allowed and go so unnoticed but this is where it starts in school and continue into the work place I am a victim of work place bullying and it is hard when you do not have a voice it has been about 7 years or more and it has caused health issues that are so unnecessary where does it stop. Thank God you had the courage to take the bullies on and over come now let the healing begin. God Bless you
lISA
May 3, 2012 at 4:23 pm
Hi Gabrielle I just lost 116lb.in 10 months let me tell you how love you Gabrielle p.s. it’s FREE
myra
May 3, 2012 at 4:27 pm
Developing good friendships at your age is a good thing that helps with your social development, keep your head up and know that you are worthy. Its better to have (1) true-friend than (100) fake-friends, and with the direction that our society is going nowadays, id say your really not missing out on much other than un-wanted drama/heartache. I will tell you what i have come to know: If Jesus is not your “Primary-friend” then you have no friend, even if you know hundreds of people in various circles….Also, be wise enough to know that 2000 facebook friends does not mean 2000 real/true friends,the development of true friendships require much more than the click of a button on the computer or smart phone.
R. Thomas
May 3, 2012 at 4:38 pm
I love and applaud this young sisters’ fierce stance… now I hope & pray someone in her community will offer her some assistance to further empower herself; by helping her to shed weight so she can continue to share her empowering story!
Bro. Lamon X
May 6, 2012 at 10:19 pm
Congrats to this young lady. The best revenge is success. I was disappointed though that there was no link to her essay – I would love to read what she wrote!
Evelyn
May 7, 2012 at 10:58 pm
I wanna read it, too! Go Gabby!
JC
May 27, 2012 at 11:07 am
SHOW ALL OF THEM HATERS
evelyn
May 20, 2012 at 2:10 pm
KNOWING YOURSELF, AND LOVING YOURSELF, IS THE MOST IMPORTANT LESSON WE CAN LEARN ON THIS EARTH…AND IN LOVING OURSELVES WE TEACH OTHERS HOW TO LOVE THEMSELVES…FLAWS AND ALL…
m***a WIT WISDOM
October 13, 2012 at 9:28 pm
It is very rewarding to actually see a victim become the victor. I applaud you for taking a stand against these bullies. Your action will help other kids that are victimized by insecured little punks to stand their ground, or at least inform a parent or someone in authority. I totally agree with the comments about the awareness of the teacher or lack of awareness. Just like a parent, you pretty much know your child, or at least you should. As a parent, you know your child’s demeanor, personality,and if he or she could be a victim or the bully. Just as teachers, can determine which child would or could fit into what catagory. We need to stop waiting until things get out of hand, or a child becomes suicidal.As for the remarks about Gabrielle’s weight, don’t lift her up,too knock her back down. Let her jump one hurdle at a time.She is a beautiful young lady, with a bright future. Enjoy your accomplishment.
B. Robinson
March 1, 2013 at 7:26 am
She has me in tears! It’s beautiful to see someone overcome such hatred! She’s going to be a phenomenal woman. I wish her sooooo much luck in the future.
Diamon
March 2, 2013 at 9:16 pm
Bullying is not just about weight, it is about anything kids can find to bully you about. You can be too skinny, too fat, too light, too dark, too short, too tall..the list goes on and on and on. Mainly it is about other kids not feeling good about themselves. I was bullied in school and it left me terrified. When Gabriel (Olympic Star) told about how she was bullied and her coach denied her being bullied because it was not witnessed by the coach, it was so stupid for the coach to make that statement. I never told my Mom or any Teacher that I was bullied. I kept it inside. I was terrified. I went to an all African American School located in the Projects. I looked a bit different but did not realize that I looked different than most of the other kids. Plus we were poor as dirt and I did not realize that either. Even as an adult in my 50′s I have a neighbor that has tried bullying me. I am an adult and this neighbor feels comfortable in bullying. It is an issue everywhere in the world. It should be a law against it.
Toni
March 3, 2013 at 2:17 am
I going to question why is this young lady chunky to begin with? Is she medicating her situation with food because it is available to her? Why is her condition so accepting to all of us. I am not condoning the horrible behavior of the children around her but if a young lady is this large there has to be other issues at work.
Her obesity is a symptom of a bigger problem that most people don’t want to find out.
Chrystal
March 3, 2013 at 3:17 am
We talk about obesity and all these other things. If someone goes to a certain continents like Africa, a person’s weight is defined as royalty.In the good ole U.S. an over weight person is looked upon in an unfavorable manner. He or she is usually deemed as lazy and ignorant. In essence,if everyone in the world looked the same, boy would it be boring. Also, everyone who is skinny isn’t healthy. I believe the true essence of health is mental stability. If a person is happy with their size, so be it. I have seen over weight men and women outlive those around them that are so “Lean and Healthy.” People should value others by characteristics and not how they look.
kookie
March 3, 2013 at 4:29 am
Your comment is the reason some forms of bullying continue. Her weight has nothing to do with the inappropriate and cruel acts of bullying. As mentioned earlier – you can be tall, skinny, black, white, wear the wrong clothes, speak differently than others. It doesn’t matter. Bullies will use any excuse to torture you. Because the real reason behind bullying is self-hatred and the person is a coward. Whether skinny or fat bullying is an issue and causes deep psychological wounds. When she loses weight the wounds will still be there. No excuse for bullying. NONE.
Princess P.
March 3, 2013 at 5:30 am
I applaud this young woman for standing up for herself. She must have very good parents who taught her values and displayed unconditional love. Many children who taunt others are those who come from abusive homes. They seek and search out the weeknesses of others. As an educator I have seen many children who do not fit the modeled look of society get picked on a daily basis. However, as a teacher it becomes my duty to address the issues and put a halt to it. I think if those secondary parents in the schools could teach children to become civic minded then we could see an end to bullying.
kookie
March 3, 2013 at 4:17 am
Bullying is hatred in a different dress. These same kids who do the bullying are haters. We pray that the bullies change and we pray that the ones who are being bullyed will pray for the bullies to change. This circle of prayer will stop the mouth of the dragons. My brother Paul stated it best: Pray for them to change their ways, and if they will not change their ways they will heap up a coal of fire on their own heads. The future will speak the truth too.
I remember when I was a newly converted Christian those who had been in the church for a long time use to give me the evil eye because I chose to listen rather than play church. Through God Almighty’s tuteledge and wise instruction I prayed for us and today, 25 years later, SOME of those same Christians are my friends.
Stay blessed all of us who have eyes to see and ears to hear. Blessings and peace forever.
Israeline
March 3, 2013 at 10:32 pm
Get you a T-shirt that says…’How d’ya like me now!’ I am so proud of you. Well, we know that you can write….we’re waiting for the book. It’s upward and onward, Gabrielle. God bless you and congratulations!
Wilma W
March 5, 2013 at 6:58 am